At this point, I think I just need to vent. And mind you, these are pretty personal items here. At least they are to me. But I don’t think it’s healthy to hold it in much longer. Alright. Here goes.
Adam and I will be married for four years at the end of May. I can honestly say that with God’s grace it has been a great, wonderful, exciting four years with my best friend. We are at the point in our relationship where we are ready (and very anxious, I might add) to extend our family besides us and our two cats. Alright. There it is. We are ready to become parents. Last month I stopped taking my birth control and made a purchase I had been waiting years to make. I bought an ovulation kit and a pack of three pregnancy tests. I couldn’t wipe the goofy smile off of my face as I put them into our cart. We haven’t told his parents we’ve done this, but because of my close relationship with my mom, I have told her I am no longer taking the pill. Even though we’re not pregnant yet, it feels like we are. We are taking our health more seriously (we’re both very healthy and active, but when you’re getting ready to make another human being, there’s something about wanting to be in peak shape). We are discussing finances more. We are discussing how our house can be used to accommodate a new person. We are talking about our jobs and how a baby will impact our careers as educators.
I’m excited. I’m nervous. I’m scared.
Recently Adam was approached by his alma mater for a science position. At the end of his interview they offered him the job. And being the team we are, we discussed how this would impact us at the moment and our future family. It wasn’t all that easy of a decision to make, but Adam declined the position. Again, taking a future baby into consideration.
Now, it’s my turn for a shift. I recently applied and interviewed for a position in our town. It would mean no long commute to school. It would mean I would be five minutes away from home. It could possibly mean I have childcare taken care of when our little blesses us. What it also means is I won’t have benefits. It will be a decrease in pay. I knew growing up when I thought of who I wanted to be as an adult I would not be rich, but God would provide for my needs. Even though it will be a decrease in pay, I can’t help but feel the possible new position would be an answer to prayers. It would be the next best thing to staying home because
my our baby would be in the same building. Of course all of this hinges on if they actually offer me the position.
I’m such a planner and so is Adam. A decision isn’t made unless there’s been careful consideration put into it. I feel I have already made my decision. I now feel it is Adam’s turn to make his decision. But, I think God has already made his decision. Now we just have to pray, wait, and pray some more.