If I were to describe who I am this would be part of the description. And honestly I don’t know if I would have described myself that way if it weren’t for a recent conversation with my cousin. I might have said “I like things done in particular way”. But, really, control freak is a more accurate description.
When I’m at school you’ll often hear me say “I’m going to be particular here…” when it comes to students’ letter formation or how they read math sentences. At times, I think it’s ok to want control of some situations. Situations where you are the leader. Situations where you are the one who holds the key to open new knowledge. But there are times, when you need to learn to step back. And it wasn’t until this week that I made the decision to let go. Let go of the control I so desperately want to have when it comes to our fertility.
This has been on my mind since our sermon on Sunday. Our associate pastor preached on repentance and letting go. Day one of God’s voice.
It was while I was putting things away after school on Monday that I really let God’s voice speak to me. I have to let go. That’s it. But of course that’s easier said than done.
Then Tuesday after school while searching for a few resources, I came across a blog post by one of my favorite first grade teacher who blogs at The Inspired Apple. Her family, unfortunately, had to go through a failed adoption. But through the grace of God, they were able to adopt their daughter one week after they were told by their adoption agency the mother decided to keep the baby. Her message to me through this post was to let go. Again.
Did I mention I’m also a bit stubborn too? I guess I had to hear it three days in a row. Make that four days in a row if you count my cousin calling me a control freak tonight. 🙂
So, my blogging friends and family, I encourage you to help keep me faithful. Faithful to truly let God have the reigns on this journey called life. I know deep in my soul God has a plan for our family. And His timing is going to be perfect.