This is my best friend.
This is my partner.
This is my husband.
But, most importantly, he’s my family.
I am writing this post with love. I truly am. So I apologize in advance if it comes out any other way, but I feel like I need to write this post on behalf of other couples who are “childless”.
You see, this past week I was asked by someone when Adam and I are going to start a family. This is a person whom I am not close with; a person I only have a professional relationship with and one with whom I have never had an intimate conversation. And probably never will.
This is a very personal question. For any couple. And it was all I could do to say “It’s none of your business.” Instead I responded as well as I could to say that it’s a very sensitive conversation for us. She instantly was sorry that she asked (especially in front of another person with whom I have no connection with), saying she didn’t know. Of course, she didn’t know. But that’s why you don’t ask someone you hardly know when they’re going to have kids. It isn’t polite. And frankly, if I wanted you to know, I would tell you.
But I don’t.
So I won’t.
Over the last three years, we have struggled with fertility. Two miscarriages and the inability to get pregnant within a year has not been easy. It’s been hard. Really hard. But our family won’t begin when we’re holding our baby. Our family began the day we promised our lives to one another through Christ. In sickness and in health. In joy and in sorrow. Just the two of us. And our cats. 🙂
So, if you’re ever in a situation where you want to ask a fairly young married couple when they’re having kids, don’t. Not unless you have a relationship with them where you’ve talked about poop. Then you might be able to ask them. Might.